Saturday, October 20, 2007

Adam's New Tool

Every now and then - don’t ask me why - I go in search of Adam Bond’s web site.

Bond’s fabled site has become the stuff of legend. As disputed, elusive and questionable as Sasquatch sightings in the Hockomock swamp.

It's just difficult to understand how, in this century, a self-employed individual as obviously as fond of the spotlight and with as natural a gift of gab and YouTube personality as Mr. Bond, hasn’t managed to so much as pitch a pup tent along the information super highway by now.

Oh, to be sure – he’s got a mention here and a one-liner there on a couple of other lawyer-centric sites. But, let's face it, it's a whole big bunch of nothing considering the fact that Bond's been a deafening, one-man public relations cacophony, not to mention celebrated media darling these past six months.

Mr. Bond, according to his own PR, is a big-shot-Wall-Street-stock-juggling barrister with Supreme Court credentials - hailing from the hippest city on Earth - yet somehow he’s never quite been able to get beyond the “under construction” page of his very own digital universe.

And this vacuum between the disparity of what Adam supposedly is, and what we've actually seen, has been causing a lot of people, including your's truly to speculate as to what he could possibly be hiding.

Well folks, I’m pleased to announce, here on the old blogspot, that Adam Bond has, at last, shed his shroud of mystery. After banging the stones together long enough, he's finally discovered fire. And after checking out the site for myself, I’d like to reassure you all that the only thing Mr. Bond has been trying to hide all this time with his lack of a web address, is his own trademark goofiness. Yes, it’s true.

To learn all about the inner Adam (at least all that’s fit to print) follow the link to:

http://www.middleboroughattorneys.com/index.html

Highlights:

we are selective in the cases that we take, since we DO NOT believe that the purpose of the law is to shift the resonsibility from those at fault to those with money. If we believe in your case we will usually take it. If we do not believe in your case, we will try to find you the name of someone else who might have an interest.
Well, it’s obvious that Adam doesn’t ‘believe’ in many cases.

And, is that the royal “we”? I mean - it’s just Adam. Why try to sound like some sort of deep-pocket, pin-stripe John Grishom law firm? It’s not as if Adam actually employs a vast staff of personal underlings - unless you count the day shift down at the Honey Dew.

And how do you spend all day sipping out of a Styrofoam cup and still make a living practicing law, anyway?

Oh - and have you noticed that suddenly Adam has become an expert at

Gaming Law


Sure… ever since CasinoFacts president Rich Young gave him that painful public lesson in ‘comp rooms’….

And, apparently, Adam's the man to call when you need some

Contract Negotiations

Just be ready to rent some really big expensive tents at short notice...

...and promise to promote something no matter what...
...so that, eventually no one will ever know if you're telling the truth.

And I find it amusing, to say the least, that Adam trumps the expertise of both Pat Rogers and Steven Spataro by claiming to provide a service in something called

‘political engineering'

Is that what they're calling BS these days?

Can you build bridges with those engineering skills? Figure out how to make a campaign run? Mark out a blueprint for the future?

And engineers have to be good at math, Adam:

at one of the largest Town Meetings in New England's history, Middleborough citizens voted 2-1 in favor of accepting the intergovernmental agreement with the Town

2387 FOR and 1335 AGAINST doesn’t = 2 to 1

Go back to school!

Hey, here's a juicy part:

Negotiated the first Tribal/Municipal Compact for a casino to come to the Town of Middleborough,

...so there's going to be a few more Tribal/Municipal Compacts? Good thing we can call on you!
the first in Massachusetts;

Seriously, how do you sleep at night??

handled all press contacts during Casino negotiations,

Alice, Christine... how do you feel knowing you've been 'handled'?

as well as the political marketing of the casino concept;

oh... I thought you were an official elected by the public. My mistake.

participated in the logistical set up and execution of the largest Town Meeting ever held in Massachusetts;

Boy, if I were Roger Brunelle right now, I'd be really PO'd.

And good gracious - despite the fact that he's argued before the supreme court, he can't say enough about that proposed gosh darned casino:

This project required extensive relationship building and strategic thinking in relation to each of the Town's citizens, various Town Boards and Departments, the Wampanoag tribal leadership, the casino resort developers and backers, various counsel, the press from several states, government officials from abutting Towns, the State government, and various opposition groups. This was a complex project (which is ongoing), and, at least, the first stages are complete.

I’m not sure why Bond’s first class strategic thinking didn’t lead him to check into Glenn Marshall’s past. Or why his stellar relationship building skills still managed to leave Middleboro residents at each other’s throats and ruin it’s relationship with surrounding towns. And, as for ‘various opposition groups’ – well, it was none other than Adam Bond who decided to ‘expose’ and ‘sanction’ said opposition publicly for things written in e-mails and on an obscure internet forum.

Way to build relationships, Adam.

But of all the wonderful, amazing, incredible things Mr. Bond supposedly did regarding the casino, it wasn’t him, but Rich Young and the good folks at CasinoFacts who brought the League of Women Voters, the Citizens For Limited Taxation, and the Mass. Council on Compulsive Gambling to Middleboro to speak to anyone who cared enough to listen - organizations which have studied casinos and gambling for decades. Not months.

Unlike that razor sharp gaming expert and political engineer, Adam Bond.

But then, why bother? Adam already knows everything worth knowing – right?

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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

When we stop laughing, we'll post a comment! Hysterical site! Absolutely hysterical! Who wrote it? How did he miss the part of the voters being idiots? or the opposition being braying donkeys? or making an excuse for a rapist by saying 'everyone has skeletons in their closet' ? We should have been posting the stupid things he's said just like the 'Bushisms'!

Anonymous said...

Adam wants to be Town Manager.
Adam keeps saying the vote was 2:1
Adam's supporters can't figure out the math! Ssshh! Don't tell them that 56% isn't 2/3!

BOB said...

I'M SURE ADAM AND TOWN OFFICIALS KNEW OF MR MARSHALL'S PAST,THAT IS WHY THEY PUSHED FOR THE THE SPECIAL TOWN SO QUICKLY. IF THE TOWN'S PEOPLE HAD KNOWN THEY WERE DEALING WITH THE DEVIL,I WOULD THEY WOULD HAVE WANTED MORE TIME TO INVESTIGATE HIS PAST. I'M SURE MORE PEOPLE WOULD HAVE OBJECTED TO GETTING TO BED WITH A LYING CONVICTED RAPIST.

Anonymous said...

Is there no limit to his arrogance?

Ann-Marie said...

Wow this is a great site. My question has always been if we are so unsophisticated, why are they living here? OH yeah they think they are better than us and we need them.
I forsee a move in their future once this casino comes to town and the real animals hang around and ruin this town.

Anonymous said...

If Mr. Bond was the big hot shot lawyer he continues to say he is than why is he working in Middleborough. Why isn't he working in some hot shot firm in New York or Boston? Why isn't he making the big bucks there. I dare say that Mr. Bond is just another mediocre lawyer who can't keep his mouth shut. Mr. Bond I have worked with the big shot lawyers in Boston and "You Mr. Bond are no big shot lawyer."

Anonymous said...

During one of the casino meetings Marsha said to a casino opponent "I assure you, we are no country bumpkins".

Goodness - with that goofy website, math, spelling and grammatical errors through out, Bond proves he at least, is indeed a country bumpkin.

My 10 year could design a better website, although Bond exaggerates better than any 10 year old.

Anonymous said...

DEAR MR. BOND,
"WHAT PEOPLE SAY BEHIND YOUR BACK IS YOUR STANDING IN THE COMMUNITY."
(Journalist Edgar Watson)

oops wrong web site. Guess it's ok, I believe due to his threats, I've heard about, he reads Gladys.

Smoking Owl said...

After reading about Mr. Bond's comments from several sources going back to July, and experiencing his arrogance first hand, I've come to one conclusion.
Mr. Bond is an idiot.
Maybe that is why he feels he's reached a level of success governing a constituency of so called idiots!
Aren't most successful attorneys to busy to be involved with day to day management of a town?
I guess he's just Legally Bond!

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