Sunday, July 8, 2007

Spartacus?

An open letter to Selectman Spataro:

Dear Steven,

Nice try at the meeting Saturday. I know you made the effort. But it wasn’t enough. You have to speak louder, at least as loud as Mr. Bond.

And I would highly recommend that, on occasion, you bang your fist on the table for emphasis, and that you use some smart-sounding words like ‘schema’ and “hypothecation’. By the way, I checked, and ‘hypothecation’ is a financial term which doesn’t mean the same thing as ‘hypothetical’.

I would also advise that you leave the room several times to go talk on your cell phone. This sends a clear message that whoever has the floor at the moment isn’t worth listening to, and that you are utterly more important.

So speak up Mr. Spartaro, people are trying to hear your voice. They long for it. They gaze up at the night sky, where they can still view the stars, and imagine your voice booming with brazen clarity across the crowded firmament. There exists an ocean of voters out there, desperately in need a leader, a true man of the people. Not a mouthpiece for deep pockets. A man, not of haste, but of hope. So let us hear it, Mr. Spataro! Command the floor! Take the day!

(Just try not to scare Marsha or she’ll hit you with her gavel.)

With Sincerest Affection,
Gladys

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