Saturday, September 6, 2008

Between the Lines

When I read Adam Bond's second public letter in a single week to Mashpee Wampanonag tribal leader Sean Hendricks, I couldn't help but be reminded of the Jerry Springer Show - you know - the show where people air their personal differences in front of a live audience and sometimes end up throwing chairs.

Submitted for your approval, I present my deconstructed Jerry Springer interpretation of Adam's carefully constructed "Dear Sean" letter:


Oh no you ditn't, Sean.

Oh no you ditn't. I ain't just nobody, yo. I'm the mother of your casino. I'm the keeper of your crib, that's who I am. It's all about the respect, baby. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. And that ain't no one-way street.

That's why I got the pre-nup, yo - I knew your sorry ass would take off the second things got bad. After all I done for you, I knew you'd still swing the door in my face and head uptown, takin' care of your business somewhere else ...gettin' all over the TV, making me look like a chump.

You think you're something? You ain't all that. I even got anti-casino crying my tears over this. That's right. Who you think you with, anyway? I'm all over AM radio, yo. That's right. I got the Enterprise on speed dial. That's who I am. You need me more than I need you, baby. And don't you never forget it.

So when you get it in your mind to go steppin' out on me again, Sean, you know you best pick up that phone - this time, next time and everytime else - if you ever wanna get anywhere near that casino again. You feel me?

Still Your Boo,
The A-Bomb


I'm happy to report that no chairs were thrown during the course of this episode.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Priceless!
As usual, you have represented a pathetic public relations fiasco with humor.
A Bomb will figure out that he isn't needed. All he has to do is look what they tried to pull with Mashpee after gaining recognition it was 'screw you we're soverign and we don't need you' until they realized they did and signed an agreement. It is doubtful that the BIA will ever grant LIT, but this tells you how Sean will behave 'screw you' until I need you.

Anonymous said...

Gladys, making me look like a chump? Did he need any help?
Well done!

Gladys Kravitz said...

LOL ;~)

Anonymous said...

Yo-Yo-Yo!
Listen up Sean
Cuz I be de Man
Don't cross my homeys
Or you be an also ran
You wanna get down and rap?
Then cut out de crap!
Cuz I ain't no sap in a baseball cap
Gotta show me respect to stay on my lap
Put my ass on de line just to get dissed?
Think again pal cuz you got me pissed.
Yes suh, I be de Man
And I be cool, ain't nobody's fool

Wassat dude? You don't need me no mo?
Fine...time to call on my Brooks Brothers homeys
On the Wall St. hood, the investment brotherhood
Here come de judge...here come de judge.
Yo-Yo-Yo

Gladys Kravitz said...

Straight up, Anon. 3:12.

(Too funny!)

Anonymous said...

Your creative brilliance in condemning a public temper tantrum is unparalleled. A Bomb's theatrics were taken by many to be what they were -- laughable.
As always, some of the comments are almost as funny as your post, like anon 3:12. A trivial character playing a trivial part who thinks he's sumptin' !

Gladys Kravitz said...

As far as Anon. 3:12 is concerned...

I'm not worthy!

Best laugh I've had in a long time.

Anonymous said...

Just read, can't stop laughing!

But so sad your so right, it has come to these trashy Springer type situations, the stars: (well played), Hendricks & Bond! (I guess a casino brings out the worst in them).

The real problem that bothers Bond is that HE has been left out not Middleboro. I almost feel sad for him, he shows such desperation in his comments. His ego must be on a roller coaster ride daily.

Heaven help this town. The BOS can't even get through a letter writing process without a "BIG" "much ado about nothing" Because these letters mean NOTHING!!
Judy

WORDS ARE THE MOST POWERFUL DRUG USED BY MANKIND (Kipling-Speech 1923)
Gladys, keep writing!!!

Gladys Kravitz said...

Dear Anon. 5:02

You've brought up a good point. Having observed Mr. Bond as long as I have, it really probably is his own ego he was so publicly upset about. Not Middleboro. Bond often tries to find ways he can be seen 'helping' Middleboro, while he's actually serving some individual purpose.

Gladys

carverchick said...

I find it ironic that in his public letter he states the importantce of Middleboro having a seat at the table becasue only Middleboro can determine what is best for Middleboro. I hope he has that same attitute for all the other communities that will be impacted by this casino and support the RTF's request to the Governor to have a seat at that table also - if the land is ever placed in trust, that is....but somehow I doubt that he will do that.

Com'on Adam...please prove me wrong on this. I triple dog dare ya!

Gladys Kravitz said...

Oh you caught that, too, CC??

Leave it to us in the surrounding communities to know when we've been double dog dissed. (Again.) (And again.) (Oh yeah, and again.)

Actually, I think Bond's record on the issue is that we (meaning our little separate towns in the region) should extend our hands in supplication for State mitigation - you know - a piece of that revenue pie to pay for burglery, addiction, murder, rape, broken families, spousal and child abuse... the list is extensive. But WHO gets the money.

And who really wants it?

Jacquie said...

Gladys,

You hit the nail on the head once again.

How sad, the quality of this debate has resorted to the level of JERRY SPRINGER. What started out with the gavel and sign stealing has now lowered itself to the TOPIX forum.

As far as Bond is concerned, I wouldn't ask him for anything. He has burned us more than once already....He's just looking out for his own egotistical hide. At the beginning of this whole mess, he was doing his job as a selectman, trying to represent ALL of the residents. Then publicly, he turned on us ( to the point of wearing pro-casino pins at selectmen meetings, and marching in a pro-casino parade on the 4th of JULY ....how inappropriate and biased is that for a selectman?)

Don't worry about him trying to look out for Middleboro, because his own reputation is at stake. But as far as him helping out the surrounding towns.....well, history will speak for itself and you can just forget about it.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jacquie;

Well said. However, I guess I am a stand-a-lone holdout, because I never believed Adam Bond had the interest of our Town, ever.

He blew in with the wind, and I wager he will find a storm to blow out on......

Why did he ever come HERE? Doesn't anyone care?

Or are we well past needing to know?

Until the day I am proven wrong, I say he was sent here to help pave the way for a casino.

Jacquie said...

Dear Anon 11:59,

There was a period of time that I questioned how a hot shot New YorK City lawyer, who fought and won a case against the Supreme Court, wound up in Middleboro. But now I've had the chance to observe Mr. Bond over the past year and have seen him in action.

Believe me, no one sent him here....he's not smart enough.

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