Submitted for your approval, I present my deconstructed Jerry Springer interpretation of Adam's carefully constructed "Dear Sean" letter:
Oh no you ditn't, Sean.
Oh no you ditn't. I ain't just nobody, yo. I'm the mother of your casino. I'm the keeper of your crib, that's who I am. It's all about the respect, baby. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. And that ain't no one-way street.
That's why I got the pre-nup, yo - I knew your sorry ass would take off the second things got bad. After all I done for you, I knew you'd still swing the door in my face and head uptown, takin' care of your business somewhere else ...gettin' all over the TV, making me look like a chump.
You think you're something? You ain't all that. I even got anti-casino crying my tears over this. That's right. Who you think you with, anyway? I'm all over AM radio, yo. That's right. I got the Enterprise on speed dial. That's who I am. You need me more than I need you, baby. And don't you never forget it.
So when you get it in your mind to go steppin' out on me again, Sean, you know you best pick up that phone - this time, next time and everytime else - if you ever wanna get anywhere near that casino again. You feel me?
Still Your Boo,